Understanding Women 111

*Disclaimer: this is the first post (and probably only post) where Gary gets to have his opinion broadcast*

I know for sure that the one trait Gary (the fiance) envies the most is my ability to see all and know all without blinking an eye. I’m not sure if it’s a “woman” thing or if it’s just an inherent ability of being ultra observant.

Gary regularly asks me where this or that is, and 9.5 times out of 10, I know exactly where it is. Now usually when he asks if I’ve seen something, I reply asking if he’s looked for it…properly. “Oh yes! I’ve looked high and low!” is the response I’m often met with. Let me tell you a little secret guys and gals, when a man says he’s “looked” for something, it generally means he’s opened up the cupboard or drawer, stared at the contents willing the item he’s looking for to appear, and when it doesn’t, he closes the drawer or door and thinks that he’s looked adequately. He doesn’t believe that searching actually requires moving things out of the way. I suppose Gary has been spoiled with my GPS-like abilities…

Gary’s response:
Bullshit! The reason why a guy can never find what he’s looking for in a cupboard or drawer is because it was likely arranged by a woman. And therefore there is no system or logic to it at all. When a guy arranges a cupboard, he’ll do it in such a way that it makes sense so that at a glance he can tell if something’s there or not. Any other guy who looks in another man’s “man drawer” would instantly be at home and able to find what he’s looking for. So this whole business about men not being able to look properly is a fallacy.

My response:
Gary packed his own cupboard so he should bloody well be able to find his stuff. And even if he moans that our domestic puts his things away, the clothes are still in the piles he created. So there!

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Man vs Woman

I received this via email the other day about the differences between men and women. I just had to share it with you, you know, just for giggles.

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.

EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no point in two people remembering the same things!

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Appreciate my specialness

I’m special! And not in the “I’m unique and there’s no-one else just like me” way. I’m talking about a “slightly normal with a touch of crazy and weird”. I know my fiancé appreciates my specialness because of certain things I do:
1. I make the bed in the nude (not only does it make bed-making fun, it also allows me to cool off after a hot bath)
2. I am a heater (I make winter nights more acceptable because I’m a human hot water bottle)
3. I am a neat freak (which means he hardly needs to clean/tidy up because I’ve done it way before the mess has had a chance to irritate him)
4. I am a control freak (which means he doesn’t get to do any laundry because I just have to do it myself)
5. I am a present-wrapping-slut (I absolutely adore the process of wrapping presents and decorating them, and he hates anything to do with presents, so it’s a win-win)

I’m weird and wonderful and loved for just the way I am!

What 5 things make you special aka “slightly normal with a touch of crazy and weird”?

Hugs & Kisses
Jessica Giggles

*Picture credit

Understanding Women 110

I have a serious guilty conscience. Seriously!

I remember this one morning… I was making the bed and as I was shaking out the duvet when a corner pushed Gary’s iPhone off the bedside table. It crashed onto the floor and the screen cracked. I was horrified because I know how much Gary loves his iPhone, and worried as to how he’d react. He said he wasn’t angry with me because it was just an accident, but I couldn’t help feeling guilty. If only I hadn’t shaken the duvet so vigorously. If only he’d moved his phone or kept it in the charging dock. If only I’d done something differently so it wouldn’t have been such an expensive accident…

I am also easily coerced into doing things when made to feel guilty. (Not peer pressure type things, or life endangering type things…) I often say yes to people because the thought of their disappointment if I say no is guilt inducing enough. This saying yes thing also isn’t helped by the fact that I do find it difficult to say no, and because I’m a born people-pleaser.

So all in all, I’m a yes-saying people-pleaser with one hell of a guilty conscience… Nice to meet you!

Hugs & Kisses
Jessica Giggles

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I’m not missing, I’m just hectic…

If you read Monday’s post then you’ll have some idea of how hectic it has been and why I’m only operating on “speed of light”. My busy schedule and to-do list has not improved since Monday, and it seems that even though I’m getting through my work and ticking things off the list, I don’t seem to be getting on top of things!

Wednesday morning a last-minute function in Limpopo was confirmed so I rushed to find a car to hire. And since it was so last minute (and a three day hire), there was only one car available which we had to take even though it was too small to fit four tall and muscular technicians. Then it was time to rush to a meeting in town where I was at least fed a muffin. The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of ticking things off the list, adding things to the list, and trying to remember to breathe.

Today has been manic! The phone has not stopped, I forgot to eat and drink, and I’ve had to get through my work as well as the to-do lists for my two colleagues who were out today (one is in Limpopo for that last-minute event, and the other was at food tastings and checking up on setups).

Tomorrow looks like it’ll be a L-O-N-G day so please send hugs! I have to be at an event at 6am and run it until midday when hopefully everyone will leave. Then I’ll race to the office to get more of my to-do list done.

Next week is looking just as crazy, if not crazier! I have two events to run on Wednesday, I have to finalise everything for my function in Drakensberg (I was supposed to be going to Zebula Lodge for a different function but I am now needed in Drakensberg), and I have to make sure all is in order for my sister’s baby shower. And I’m sure there will be quite a few things added in here and there. And before I know it, it’ll be time to pack my bags and leave for Drakensberg…

So please don’t think I’ve deserted you or forgotten about you! I promise to try and pop in next week even if it is just to post something funny to keep me smiling!

Hugs & Kisses
Jessica Giggles

*Cartoon credit

An Ode to Women

I was sent this via email the other day (you may have already seen it) and wanted to share this with you… Remember you ARE worth it…always!

Women have strengths that amaze men…
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
However, if there is ONE flaw in women, it is that they forget their worth…

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Understanding Women 108

Why men will never be able to understand women…

Enjoy!

Hugs & Kisses
Jessica Giggles

*Cartoon credit

Understanding Women 107

Isn’t this so true?! Enjoy the giggle!

Hugs & Kisses
Jessica Giggles

*Cartoon credit

Understanding Women 106

Sadly I didn’t do as well… You see, last night was the first episode of the new season of Greys Anatomy. And I needed a whole slab of chocolate to get through it. Judging by Twitter, I was not the only one to have puffy eyes and a red nose by the end of the episode. So here’s to eating the entire box of chocolates during the next one!

Hugs & Kisses
Jessica Giggles

*Cartoon credit

Understanding Women 105

Hello! My name is Jessica, and I’m a people-pleaser! Yes I find it very difficult to say no even when I’m extremely busy. And yes I feel guilty once I’ve said no, so I usually end up saying yes… But do not fear, I shall either say no more often, or clone myself to halve the workload…

Hugs & Kisses
Jessica Giggles

*Cartoon credit